Now it's true that NO ONE can beat up the author China Mieville, but where's the suspense in that? RJ Huneke has begun to tackle some of the most awe-inspiring warriors of the modern age starting with the Duke himself, Duke Nukem!
RJ Huneke VS. Duke Nukem: The fifteen year grudge match has finally come to terms, as the Duke - who largely disappeared from RJ's life for a decade and a half following one of the most fun ass-kicking video games ever - returns in June of 2011! RJ took out the game, threw down the package and taunted the yellow flattop by calling him a...SISSY!
The Duke, fresh off of a steroid transfusion and a universal kill spree on the aliens who took earth's women, put out his cigar in his hand (just to further prove how bad-ass he is) and leaped from the game cover out into RJ's living room. From there the author tried to bombard the fictional character with a flurry of hastily thrown Guinness bottles and an illegally painted black (so BAD-ASS!) Nerf gun. Though a foam dart struck the Duke in the eye, the muscle-head merely laughed at length. Nukem then serenaded his new-found foe with punches before taking out his shrink-ray and stunning the lanky RJ (who had never been short before in his life). Seizing an opportunity for defiling the holiest of sanctuaries, the Duke proceeded to knock all of RJ's precious books off of their shelves, while the newly-made little person stamped with rage impotently. Once the torture was thorough, the Duke then stepped on RJ with the Mighty Duke Boot: SQUASH!
Battle One: Duke Nukem Kicked RJ Huneke's Ass. RJ was down, but not out, however...to be continued...